Of Daughter & Love: Growing up alongside you

imageShe bends at the waist leaning over the kitchen table to hug me. Her long blonde ponytail drops into my lap as she wraps her long, lean, 17 year old arm around my shoulder. “Good night mom.”

Oh.

My.

God.

This almost never happens.

“I love you baby. You should feel so good about what you did today. I’m so proud of you.” I kiss her hair.

She presented tech sessions at the annual leadership conference for the large school district in which I work. She had administrators, teacher leaders, and the superintendent of instruction in her sessions. I was not with her, but colleagues remarked all afternoon on how well spoken, poised, and prepared she was. She got a lot of conversation started.

“NO, I’m proud of you, momma. You do so much good.” She answers. And she’s still hugging me.

I notice. Believe me, I notice!

“Thank you,” I manage, feeling the lump in my throat and a burn starting to grow behind my eyes. I smell her skin as she stays close another moment.

“I love you momma. Good night.”

So often its just “Night” and off to her room early where the light stays on for hours, but she doesn’t come out again. Or worse, slammed door, “Stop,” she yells, disappearing behind her walls, sticky thick frustration pouring out across our small apartment. It stays on everything it touches; arms, clothing, shoes, reminding me for days of the painful disquiet that pervades our life together now. An aching disconnect so real you can’t just walk away from it.

Delaney sings     Delaney & I selfie    Delaney elevator to camp

But tonight is different. My heart smiles so big I can’t contain the largeness of it. My eyes fill and spill over with tears of . . .   What? Gratitude.

These precious fleeting momentous moments. I’ll take every one and hold it gently and carefully and turn it over to look at closely like so much fineness, a seashell perfection made so by the washing of the tide over and over again and again.

It’s what love is – moments where connection reaches across the borders of ourselves to touch one another.

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About Be Strong. Be Courageous. Be You

Principal at the Sweetest Little School by the Sea at the north end of Los Angeles Harbor. Working to make the world a little more awesome.
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14 Responses to Of Daughter & Love: Growing up alongside you

  1. franmcveigh says:

    Dayna,
    How fabulous that your first post is about your daughter and love! Savor those precious moments! Our children grow up, oh, so quickly!

    Congratulations on your first post and joining the “blog-o-sphere”! I’m so looking forward to your future posts!

    Like

  2. Dayna!! You brought me to tears!! You’re such a great mom and I’m so happy you finally joined the blogging world!!!! YAH!!! Keep on going…you’re amazing!!!

    Like

  3. Pingback: Slice of Life: The Illusion of Control | To Read To Write To Be

  4. jarhartz says:

    Oh this makes me cry. Mommas and daughters — push and pull. Holding on to the precious is so important. Love this image: “take every one and hold it gently and carefully and turn it over to look at closely like so much fineness, a seashell perfection made so by the washing of the tide over and over again and again.”

    So glad you’ve joined Slice of Life!
    Julieanne

    Like

  5. aileenhower says:

    Thank you for sharing. My children are still young, so I dread the “age” you describe. You write about how I would expect, but also give encouragement that it’s more than the stereotype describes.

    Thanks!

    Like

  6. elsie says:

    Absolutely beautiful! Your imagery takes my breath away. Savor these special moments, they will become precious memories.
    So glad you jumped in to this pool of fun.

    Like

  7. Lisa Keeler says:

    This is so beautiful. I had a lump in my throat. Yay for you for taking the plunge. This is such a supportive community of writers.

    Like

  8. demidem says:

    Wow Dayna! Love, love, love this! Your words say what your tears said the other day when we spoke at lunch! Thanks for sharing and taking a risk!

    Demi

    Like

  9. Laura says:

    Dayna! This is beautiful! I can relate since I have two teenage girls of my own. Thanks for reminding me savor the graditude, thank you’s, hugs and love when I get them. 💖 xo

    Like

  10. Dayna, your daughter and your writing are beautiful! These moments when “our heart smiles so big [we] can’t contain the largness of it” are precious indeed. Thank you for sharing this, and I’m so happy that we’ve made this connection this week!

    Like

  11. daywells says:

    Glad to get to share so much with you this week… and after our conversations around children, this post! Thank you for your comment and your company, Catherine.

    Like

  12. Pingback: Why I’m Here | Day Wells Writes

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